BUT NEVER SEEING MY EYES


You remind me of my ex. 
This is what they all tell me, 
like I should be ecstatic, 
reminding them of the one 
I am suppose to replace. 

Touching me calls to mind sex 
with her. A bad memory, 
they wince as if I'm caustic, 
shriveling, coming undone, 
within a mental carapace. 

They stare, and their eyes reflect 
the one I can never be- 
the one who was pneumatic 
and coiled her hair in a bun, 
who did what they said with haste. 

How can I remove this hex, 
take form within make believe, 
and turn the vague specific? 
How can I make them see-one 
person, right now, in my face?